Purpose is birthed in chaos, and it rarely comes quickly.
Wish I remembered that three years ago when I told God I was done.
At a Point of No Return?
For a solid year after finishing the book, I worked relentlessly to get it to the marketplace. Finally... after so much struggle... I decided I was done.
Every opportunity that opened up had dried up.
Every piece of funding that showed up, blowed up.
As bad as things were, there was one thing I still knew...
I was not crazy.
I was not losing my mind.
God gave me this.
The ink smeared with my tears as I wrote were my endorsement.
The peace I had about possible repercussions confirmed it.
I never asked for it, but it was what I needed to be free from my past and move into my future.
So why? Why give me a book I can't get published?
I asked the question before but with no response from Heaven this time, I wasn't waiting any more. I was done.
I expected to feel a great weight off my shoulders, but it was the complete opposite. Moments after making my decision, there was a heaviness on me I had never encountered. Not to be spooky-spiritual, but it terrified me. All I could say to myself is,
"What have you done?"
Somewhere You've Never Been nor Ever Want to Be
I will never be able to fully articulate what I felt in the moments and days after. I was somewhere in the spirit I had never been nor ever wanted to be. All I know is it felt like God had left me. Look... being in my feelings about the book was one thing, but God turning his back on me? Not an option.
For several days, I worked feverishly in prayer to reconnect with my Jesus. No delay or even denial was worth this. Slowly, I began to feel his presence again.
Thank you, Jesus, for your presence.
The frustration of struggle and delay can make you do some crazy things. My pity-party, my act of rebellion put me in a place of separation I had only known intellectually. Now, in my own space of frustration The Father taught me up close that doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as I take the journey with Jesus.
That was over three years ago.
Today, I am proud to announce the book just launched and I have no regrets.
What I didn't know is it would take a year for the book to heal the relationships I write about, and another year to discover Jesus in a pandemic. I thought the book was finished, but there were two more chapters to be written. Thank God for the opportunity to reconnect and the grace to write about it.
And now, I can say with absolute certainty that the delay was worth it.
Delay is Not Denial
We hear the cliché' all the time, delay is not denial. When I pushed God away, I got a taste of denial. A glimpse of glory gone. Never again.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. ~Matthew 6:33
Is God's delay starting to take you to a dark place?
Then, fight. Fight everything in you and around you that is contrary to what Heaven has for you. Not everybody can walk this walk with you. Shut down any conversation that doubts your destiny. The battle may isolate you at times, but you still have a friend in Jesus. Let his Word become your Best Friend Forever. Find your strength in his presence.
You know what God told you.
Let no devil in hell or the voice in your head tell you different.
These three years were a blessing.
Whatever happens now is overflow.
I pray whoever is reading this sees your silence as a delay not a denial. I pray they embrace the quiet and let you count every tear in prayer. I pray they grow so close to your Word that the words jump off the page and ring in their ears when frustration comes. I pray you give them the space and the time to prepare for the overflow that's coming because they didn't give up. In the name of our Best Friend Forever, Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Yep... you read right... the book has launched!
GOD 'n You: Finding Your Place in Forever
Woman of God, are you ready to break the cycle of hesitation and finally live on purpose? No more waiting! It's time to discover and live out your truth.
Available on online at amazon.com, barnesandnobles.com, and all other major online bookstores.
Thank you again for sharing this journey with me. Now, GO BUY THE BOOK!
Our goal for the month of June is 100 softcovers sold!
Don't forget to Subscribe and keep up with the latest updates, perks, and other GOD 'n Me goodies!
In the meantime, leave a comment about today's blog and know that I am continuing in prayer for the overflow you're waiting for.