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How Do I Still Grind When My Community's Heart is Broken?

It’s been rough these past few weeks to put pen to paper because I don’t want to forget Botham. I don’t want to write as if my city is not in pain. It felt almost disrespectful to talk about fulfilling purpose and getting “grind ready”. Botham was not our native son, but he does represent the best in us - our innocence. His death was an attack on our innocence, on pursuing our best life and loving our great God.

And now… this weekend… Atatiana… at home playing video games with her nephew... slain.

Innocence lost again.

This hurts. How do you push to live your best life when so much life has been lost?


And who do you fight when it’s everywhere?

“Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” Psalm 3:1-2, David as he ran for his life

We’ve seen insane before, but this level is hard to bear. This post almost didn’t happen. God had to remind me that the vision for my life is not separate from His dreams for my community. David answering the call to be king meant new life for Israel, even when he was fighting to survive.

It was his destiny. It was his truth. We all have a truth. I call mine, My Most Woman Truth.

Anything I write, I can do, I can create, I can become, I can bless.

~Phillipa's Most Woman Truth

This is the core of my calling. It is who God made me to be whether the darkness of night creeps in or I feel the SONlight of His love on my skin. I discovered it as I was writing the draft for my book. I named the muddy, messy process “blood on the page” because it forced me to explore pieces of myself and God that I didn’t want to deal with but had to else healing would never come.